Challenging Unhelpful Thinking in Graduate School
Whether you’re a Master’s, PhD, or Professional student, graduate school isn’t just intellectually challenging; it’s also emotionally challenging.
Have you ever found yourself running a failed research study, getting a bad grade, or hearing a piece of negative feedback, and then (unwillingly) having thoughts run through your head like “I’m a failure,” “I don’t belong at Stanford,” or “I’ll never get the future job that I want”? You might spend the rest of the day feeling sad, embarrassed, or worried.
We all fall into these patterns of negative thinking at some point in graduate school, despite the fact that these automatic thoughts are often unrealistic and unproductive. In fact, it turns out that our interpretation of negative events is actually what causes our negative emotions, rather than the events themselves. For example, imagine how your emotions might shift if instead of telling yourself: “I got a C on this exam; I’m such a failure,” you thought, “Although I got a C on this exam, I’ve gotten mostly As on the quizzes, and if I study hard for the final, I can still do well in the class.”
So how can we change our thinking to help improve our emotions toward our academics and keep us motivated to move forward?
1. Track your negative automatic thoughts!
When you feel a negative emotion in response to a previous, current, or upcoming event, keep track of the thoughts that run through your head. In particular, jot down responses to the following: 1) What’s the situation? 2) What emotion/s am I feeling? 3) When X situation happened/happens, what is/was/will be going through my mind?
2. Identify common styles of unhelpful thinking
Oftentimes, our negative automatic thoughts fall into common categories. By identifying the types of thinking we are engaging in, we are more likely to be able to identify that this thinking is unproductive – and not necessarily true. Here are a few of the most common unhelpful thinking styles:
a) All or nothing thinking (or black-and-white thinking) - Only thinking in terms of extreme options without considering shades of gray (e.g., “If I’m not perfect, I have failed” or “I should either do it right or not do it at all”)
b) Overgeneralizing – Drawing conclusions that are overly broad or seeing a pattern based on a single event (e.g., “Nothing good ever happens” or “I always fail everything”)
c) Catastrophizing (or fortune-telling) – Predicting the future negatively without considering other, more likely outcomes (e.g., “I’ll be so anxious, I’ll never be able to give this talk”)
d) Minimizing (or discounting the positive) – Discounting the good things that have happened or that you have done (e.g., “I got an A on that assignment but that doesn’t count...”)
e) Mind-reading – Imagining we know what others are thinking (“My advisor thinks I’m stupid”)
f) Labeling – Putting a fixed, global label on yourself or others when there might be a more reasonable, less extreme conclusion (e.g., “I’m a loser” or “I’m not a scientist”)
3. Challenge your negative automatic thoughts
Here are a few concrete ways to work toward a more accurate and/or balanced way of thinking:
a) Gather the evidence. What evidence do you have for a particular negative automatic thought? Write down all of the evidence that supports your thought and all of the evidence that contradicts it. Based on the evidence, try to arrive at an alternative, more balanced thought.
For example, if you fail an exam and find yourself thinking “I’m always a failure,” consider the evidence. Perhaps you failed another exam in college, but you have also done really well on most other exams in college and graduate school. Your more balanced thought might be: Although I failed this exam and I’ve failed an exam before, it’s also the case that I’ve gotten As and Bs on the majority of the exams I’ve taken, so it’s probably not fair to think that “I’m always a failure.”
b) Define terms – or try unpacking any labels you may be calling yourself. For example, if your research doesn’t turn out the way you had hoped, and you again find yourself thinking, “I’m a failure,” you might consider: what exactly does it mean to be a “failure”? Who do you think of when you think of the term “failure”? Are there other researchers you admire who have had failed experiments – and would you identify them as a “failure”? Practice really interrogating and defining the term before deciding if it is an accurate label for yourself.
c) Consider what you would tell a friend. Oftentimes we are kinder (and more realistic!) in the way we speak to our friends than to ourselves. So, if your friend were in the exact same situation as you, and you heard them speak aloud your negative automatic thought, how would you respond? Try writing down your response to a friend – and then see how it feels to apply those words to yourself.
Tip: When you experience a negative emotion in response to an event or situation, try filling out our Automatic Thought Tracker on the last page of this handout. By tracking your negative automatic thoughts, you can more easily spot patterns of unhelpful thinking, challenge and reframe your negative thoughts, and hopefully shift your mood by arriving at a more balanced way of thinking.
Important notes:
- The suggestions in this handout are grounded in the practice of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy but are not meant to replace therapy. If you find your negative thoughts and emotions impeding your day-to-day activities and wellbeing, we strongly encourage you to take advantage of Stanford’s Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS).
- There may also be times when, after evaluating the evidence, you realize that your negative automatic thought is actually realistic – and not distorted. In this case, it’s even more important to seek outside support to help you work through how to accept the situation, problem solve when relevant, and work on practicing self-compassion.
Works consulted:
Beck, J. S., & Beck, A. T. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond (3rd edition). Guilford Publication.
Burns, D. D. (2020). Feeling great: The revolutionary new treatment for depression and anxiety. Eau Claire, WI: PESI Publishing & Media.
Greenberger, D., & Padesky, C. A. (2015). Mind over mood: Change how you feel by changing the way you think. Guilford Publications.
Solomon, N. “Managing Emotions with Skill – An Intro to the Principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).” Personal communication (Stanford Continuing Studies course).
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Challenging Unhelpful Thinking in Graduate School
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